


From Your Skin To Mine

by still_water



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-25 23:07:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7550755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/still_water/pseuds/still_water
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baekhyun and Chanyeol deal with messy feelings - not necessarily for each other. Set in High-five Your Goodbyes!Au.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ANGST. INAPPROPRIATE JOKES. AND A LITTLE BIT OF SMUT. 
> 
> Set in HYG!au, for those of you asking for a Chanbaek sidefic. This is a work-in-progress, just snapshots I'd collected to get some ideas out. Let me know if you want more! Comments are always loved.

“If I confess today, what do you think will be the worst case scenario?” Chanyeol said, hugging his guitar close to his body.

Baekhyun chose that time to pop her bubblegum. She was tired and didn’t know which hurt more, her throat or her knees. It had been a long day of rehearsal and the last thing she needed was Chanyeol yapping about his teenage love drama. “Hmm, let me think, you’ll get rejected and your heart will be aching for the rest of your empty, miserable life?”

“You have a point.” Chanyeol said, eyes trained longingly at something from across the room. Baekhyun couldn’t see from where she was propped on the floor, but she knew what, or rather who, he was gazing at, looking like a lovelorn puppy. “Beautiful,” he muttered under his breath, which smelled like cherry flavored gum.

Baekhyun rolled her eyes.

“But what if. . .” he said, “what if there was a 0.01% chance that she would actually accept me, isn’t that something worth taking the risk for?”

“The risk of looking like the creepy oppa who’s been having R-rated daydreams about the virginal Do Kyungsoo? Not really, no.”

“You know, as my friend, you can be a little more supportive.” Chanyeol pouted, “and I’ll have you know my daydreams are strictly PG.”

“You’re fooling no one with those random boners, Park Chanyeol,” she said, “which, I have to say, are quite impressive.”

It was entertaining to see Chanyeol’s facial expression switch back and forth from offended to grateful and back to offended, until it finally settled on a pout. “I can’t wait to _not_ be a teenager anymore.”

“News flash, you’ll be 20 soon, old man.”

“My body doesn’t seem to think so.”

“You mean your _dick_ doesn’t seem to think so?”

“Jesus, that mouth of yours – ” Chanyeol shook his head, eyebrows meeting together.

Baekhyun grinned evilly from the floor, face turned up at him and looking at him through her eye lashes. “You wanna fuck her, don’t you?” She drawled out, teasing.

He choked on chair, eyes widening at the word. He flicked his eyes towards _her_ direction, where she was probably blushing at something that kid Jongin said (that thing seemed to happen alarmingly often), as if to make sure this conversation was as private as it could be.

“You wanna be the first guy that Do Kyungsoo’s wraps her legs around?”

“Shh!” He said, eyes quickly scanning the surrounding lest someone would pass by. Chanyeol’s life was already hard as it is, he didn’t need the reputation of being the group’s perv adding to his list of existential worries. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Say it, Chanyeol-ah. Say you wanna fuck her.”

“NO!”

“Say it! Stop being such a pussy!”

“NO!”

“Say you wanna put your delicious, hard dick in Kyungs—” the rest was cut off by Chanyeol’s hand clamping over her mouth and Chanyeol’s body jumping over hers.

“You’re gonna put me in so much trouble, do you know that?!” He shrieked from where he lay on top of her.

“Hyung, they’re at it again.” Baekhyun heard Jongdae, one of the new kids, whisper to their leader.

Baekhyun just giggled and wiggled under him. His body felt rather nice. She was almost tempted to put on a show for everyone and wrap her legs around his waist. She knew the others were watching them now.

“Break it off, lovebirds, we have children in our presence.” Luhan said from the other side of the room, fixing her ponytail in front of the mirror.

“I’m not a child!” Sehun and Zitao said at the same time.

“Thank you for proving my point.” Luhan smiled sweetly at them, accent almost deceivingly perfect now.

They got into a loud argument, which mostly consisted of Zitao and Sehun aggressively claiming adulthood and Luhan pouting patronizingly at them, until Junmyeon sighed and decided he had to step in. Soon enough, eyes turned away from Baekhyun and Chanyeol and towards the violent Chinese indignations currently taking place.

“Don’t fuck it up,” Baekhyun whispered.

“Huh?”

“Don’t confess. You don’t wanna ruin our career before it even started.”

Chanyeol was quiet because he knew she was right. A group that barely debuted couldn’t survive with members who were in love, broken-hearted, uncomfortable and every mess in between.

To give her credit, at that time, Baekhyun really did believe she was doing it for them. It wasn’t until later that she started to suspect she was doing it more for herself.

***

“You like _that,_ baby?”

“Ugh, yeah.”

Three years, an unspoken confession and millions of albums sold later, here they are, with Baekhyun sitting on Chanyeol’s cock and riding herself into a second orgasm.

“You like it when I roll my hips like this, making you feel good?”

Chanyeol can only pant and dig his fingers into the ample flesh of her hips.

“Talk to me.” She gasps out, rocking into him in a tortuously slow pace.

“ _Yes, I like it.”_ He grits out, trying to rut up into her.

“I like it, too.” She hums as her hips slowly lift off him and hover over the tip of his cock just so. She’s almost delighted to hear the frustrated groan ripping from his chest. Nothing can fill her with joy quite like Chanyeol’s dick and the thought that she could drive him mad like this.

Without warning, she slams her hips down and Chanyeol lets out his loudest moan of the night yet.

“ _Fuck._ ” He finally curses, which he tries not to do as much as the situation permits. “God, if you were under me right now. . .”

“What, what would you do?” Baekhyun asks between pants, rocking her hips in little increments, causing delicious frictions that are enough to please but not enough to satisfy either of them. But she will hold out, she always does. “What would you do? Tell me.”

She puts her ear close to his mouth. Chanyeol has always been shy about voicing out profanities, something she finds especially endearing while she’s bouncing on his cock.

“ _I would fuck you so hard you’ll be limping for weeks.”_ he raps out, and it sends a different kind of heat between her legs.

“Fucking shit, Chanyeol.” She whines out, aroused beyond help. “Do that, please.”

Chanyeol’s thick fingers around wrap firmly around her waist and before she knows it, she’s pushed onto her back. Baekhyun would laugh at how easy it is for Chanyeol to throw her around like some weightless rag doll, if it didn’t turn her on so much.

In a split second, she’s trapped under him, with his strong hands lifting her legs so high along his torso she’s afraid she’ll break in half. God, she _loves_ this. She loves _him._

He starts pounding into her, like he promised, and Baekhyun’s oxygen is cut off. She can’t even scream from how intensely he’s thrusting and how good it feels. She can vaguely hear the sound of headboard knocking and her own useless mumbles of “ _I’m coming, I’m coming_ ” before she hears something sharper and more distinct slice through the air.

“ _Kyungsoo…”_

Her eyes shoot open and find Chanyeol’s face hovering, eyes shut tight and contorted into an expression of mindless pleasure.

Baekhyun lies there and waits, but he makes no indication that he’s done anything wrong – that he’s said the wrong name, or at least not the name of the girl his cock is currently buried in.

And then he shudders and comes harder and longer than he’s had in a while, and she can feel his body trembling against the skin of her inner thighs. He collapses on the other side of the bed, panting and sated.

Another one of those nights again, Baekhyun muses bitterly, already planning her sneak attack into Kyungsoo’s room tonight.

***

Baekhyun hates Kim Jongin.

Because she is stubborn and somewhat of a masochist, she’s sought comfort from the very person causing her misery. Even though said person is blissfully unaware of the things ripping Baekhyun from the inside out.  

Kyungsoo, despite being thorny at times, is a cuddler if you catch her at the right time. She’s like a foam pillow and a one-stop healing station where Baekhyun can nurse her broken heart, until it breaks all over again.

But stupid Kim Jongin had to go and ruin it. Since he finally found the balls to confess, (or was it Kyungsoo who confessed? They still couldn’t get their story straight), the two have been inseparable and Baekhyun is left with no one to come crying to.

There’s Junmyeon, but instead of snuggling with her under the blankets, he’ll end up just giving her some tea and maybe a bedtime story. Luhan is the last person you’d want a cuddle from, given her record of laughing at other people’s miseries. Minseok is too much of a neat freak to have anyone else except Luhan contaminate his pristine sheets, and Jongdae kicks in his sleep.

Sehun is too skinny for cuddling, while Zitao is too whiny. Yixing is all right, she guesses, but she might end up giving him an unintentional handjob in the middle of the night. Don’t get her started on Yifan, who’s either too emotionally detached or affected in your woes, and Baekhyun would rather not find out on which end of the stick she falls. A sobby Yifan is the last thing you want.

So that leaves her with no one, hence her hatred of Kim Jongin, the poor boy.

To be fair with them, he and Kyungsoo try to tone it down, for the cameras and for everyone else. But it’s done nothing to hide the fact that they’re all over each other like puppies in heat.

Chanyeol is surprisingly calm today, pretending that he doesn’t notice the Eskimo kiss happening before his eyes. Baekhyun would almost believe him if she didn’t know better. Except she did.  

“Eww, seriously? It’s too early for this.” Baekhyun whines on his behalf and pretends to gag on her plate of toast. She throws a piece of bread in their direction, which simply bounces off Jongin’s bed hair.

He and Kyungsoo are too in love to care.

“Let’s make out and make this even.” She tells Chanyeol, who seems into be in a daze despite his mouth being busy coughing down his cereal. She can tell he’s blocking everything from sight and mind.

Baekhyun’s chest does that thing where it almost becomes airtight. “Chanyeol-ah, make out with me,” she pleads with her best aegyo, or at least the best she can do at seven in the morning.

Chanyeol apparently acknowledges her this time, and leans in for a dirty kiss, slightly catching her off guard with a flick of his tongue.

“SINCE WHEN DID OUR DINING TABLE BECOME A PLACE FOR YOUR DEPRAVITY?”

Luhan exclaims for the sake of being obnoxious. She and Minseok have probably done _way_ worse things in here.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol continue to ravage each other, for two different reasons.

***

The first time they got into this … arrangement … was the night of their first appearance on an award show.

Everybody was beat from the after-party. Taemin made them take something that got everyone dancing all night. At one point, Jongdae climbed on top of the bar and simulated a drunken strip tease, which Junmyeon was quick to interrupt with a wide-eyed plead.

As the night wound down, everybody went straight to their rooms where they were passed out cold. With the exception Baekhyun and Chanyeol, who had enough energy to dance and fool around in their common area.

“You’re drunk.” Chanyeol slurred with a laugh, catching Baekhyun by the waist to keep her from tripping on her dress and falling on the couch.

“I’m way past drunk, buddy. I’m entering a different level of zen now.” Baekhyun couldn’t feel her tongue as it dragged it across her lower lip.

“Don’t do that.” Chanyeol warned, almost soberly.

“Don’t do what?”

“Move your tongue like that.”

“Why not?”

Chanyeol was suddenly blushing. Baekhyun angled her head upwards to look him in the eyes. They didn’t look as clouded as they had before.

Baekhyun rolled her lower lip between her teeth – a challenge.

“I said, stop.”

“Why?”

“It’s making me wanna kiss you,” he breathed out.

“What’s stopping you?”

That was all Chanyeol needed to pull Baekhyun by the waist and lock his mouth into hers. She whimpered at the ferocity of it, mouth easily parting easily for his tongue to curl into.

A year later, she realized that it should’ve stayed close.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the present and past of Baekhyun and Chanyeol's whirlwind of emotions, lust, and every mess in between.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I believe this is an overdue update. Hope it's to your liking. Just to set some expectations, it's much like the first chapter - just snapshots of their daily shenanigans. 
> 
> In case you were wondering, the title is from Sara Bareilles' song, "A Thousand Times". I highly recommend it, something for all of your beautiful pining hearts.
> 
> Thanks to the lovely people who've left comments. FYI, I read them all if I'm having a bad day and in need of a pick-me-up. Cheers.

One of Baekhyun’s favorite pastimes is watching her bandmates get shitfaced on Minseok’s expensive beer. People are quick to assume that she’s the first one to hit the john, but she’s actually less of a lightweight and more cognizant than they give her credit for.

At the moment, everyone is in varying degrees of intoxication. Baekhyun is starting to feel tipsy herself, but still not tipsy enough to miss the entertainment unfolding before her.

Jongin, in his drunken haze, has been goaded into putting on a strip show for them. It’s not so much a striptease as a weak attempt at unbuttoning his blouse.

“I’m so happy to be alive.” Luhan marvels. “Minseok, are you recording this?” Minseok gives a half-hearted laugh.

“Kyungsoo, you lucky devil!” Baekhyun hollers and nearly falls over Sehun, who’s wheezing across the floor.

Kyungsoo has always been a mopey drunk, so she stays quiet and revels in the spectacle of her boyfriend gyrating to an imaginary song.

“I’ve never seen him so uncoordinated. This is gold.” Jongdae takes out his iPhone and taps aimlessly at the buttons until it starts recording.

“He’s going to regret this tomorrow.” Minseok observes solemnly. Junmyeon can only watch with a conflicted frown. “Someone please save him.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Jongdae warns without looking away from the screen of his phone.   

They rarely get nights like this, with nothing to do other than get wasted on alcohol shipped all the way from China and not worry about the morning after, so they make sure to make the most of it. The night has wound down to them shouting out random dares and someone stepping up to the plate. Jongin was just drunk enough to accept Baekhyun’s striptease challenge.

“Oppa, I love you!” Chanyeol shrieks in a feminine voice and fishes out a bill from his pocket. Jongin doesn’t miss a beat as Chanyeol tucks the money in his waistband. “How much for a night, sweetheart?”

“Yah, he’s not a prostitute! He’s a classy night club dancer from Hongdae named Glitter, how dare you!” Baekhyun points a socked foot at Chanyeol, which he grabs and uses to drag her out the couch. This, inevitably, starts a rough play-fight across the floor, adding to the ruckus already taking place.

Baekhyun may be half Chanyeol’s size and weight, but she’s miraculously stronger whenever they get into one of their wrestling matches, slash, violent flirting rituals – in Luhan’s words.

Before Chanyeol can get his footing, Baekhyun tackles him to the floor, locking him between her thighs. Chanyeol tries to wiggle from under her, but all in vain.

Luhan makes a whining sound from the other end of the couch, “ _Noooooo._ Yixing, break them up.” She proceeds to slur something in Mandarin.

Baekhyun hears Yixing give out a low chuckle like he’s a patronizing adult. “Finish him, Baekhyunnie.”

Baekhyun grabs both of Chanyeol’s wrists to pin them on the ground, but she has clearly underestimated his strength, because it doesn’t take a lot for him to flip her over and trap her under his canopy of a body. 

She hears some of the men holler in victory, in surprise, in plain excitement. She didn’t realize they were paying attention to them. Jongin’s spontaneous strip tease must have ended.  

“Eonnie, finish him!” Tao cries out.

“Not today, Tao.” Chanyeol raps out in a rough voice, which shoots straight to her groin. Baekhyun makes the smallest hint of a hip thrust.

“Break them up before they start making out.” Luhan pleads. “I swear to God if Baekhyun starts moaning.”

“Years from now, I’ll have to tell your future children how their parents used to murder each other,” Jongdae says casually.

Baekhyun feels it, the catch in Chanyeol’s breath, the falter in his smile, like Jongdae’s words literally pulled out the rug from under him. She can also feel pressure dissipating as he detaches himself from her. He gives them an awkward smile like he owes it to them.

Baekhyun inwardly rolls her eyes – Chanyeol can’t be more obvious if he tried. “Don’t worry, Jongdae. I’m not actually stupid enough to share my genes with him.” She beats him to it.

“I dare someone~” Kyungsoo’s voice breaks the short silence that followed, “to give me a backrub.”

“That’s not how this game works.” Tao says.

“But I could really use one.” Kyungsoo pouts, and Baekhyun is thankful for Kyungsoo’s existence for the hundredth time in her life. Jongin inches closer to where Kyungsoo is curled up on the couch and drapes himself over her, as if to apologize for being useless at the moment.

“You’re an angel, Kyungsoo, but you’re disqualified.” Luhan says, “I dare someone to drunk-dial manager-oppa and confess their undying love for him.”

After a long silence, Luhan surveys the room in disappointment, “Really, no takers? You all suck.”

Jongdae sighs in defeat and pulls out his phone, “fuck, I’m _so_ going to get fired for this.”

\---

Baekhyun wakes up with a sharp pain in her neck and hips. There are red cups strewn all over the floor, half-empty boxes of pizza, and what she thinks is Sehun’s favorite pair of SpongeBob boxers.

“ _I dare someone to take off their underwear without taking off their pants.”_ She now remembers Chanyeol saying.

She turns and finds Sehun curled up next to her, mouth slack and uncaring. His knee is digging into her right hip, which explains the annoying pain.

Once she’s sober enough to do anything, she grabs the boxers and throws them on his face. The sleeping boy doesn’t even flinch.

Stretching, she makes her way to the kitchen and is surprised to find Chanyeol seated on one of the stools around island. He’s usually one of the last people to get up after a long night. Then again, so is she.

“Hey,” she calls out, going straight for the fridge for some banana milk. That should cure her hangover.

He makes a small sound of acknowledgment, eyes trained on the glass of water in front of him. The lack of enthusiasm puts a pout on Baekhyun’s face.    

“Not to be dramatic, but I think I’m dying.”

That also fails to incite a response from him. She regards him for a moment before turning back to the fridge. “You look like Junmyeon-oppa when he’s about to take a shit.” She goes back to the task at hand and rummages through different brands of kimchi, “Fuck, we’ve run out of milk. Remind me to remind Kyungs—”

She turns and sees it. There’s no mistaking. Chanyeol looks deeply, seriously disturbed.

“Something’s bothering you. What is it?” She walks over, standing so she’s looking down at him. From this angle, she can see the layer of weariness clouding his face. “Jesus, did you even sleep at all?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Last week, you told me about the different species of weed growing in your mother’s front yard. I’m sure that can’t be any more important than this.”

“Baek—”

“Chanyeol,” she takes his face between her hands, “Don’t bullshit me. Not _me_.”

His frown deepens at that, and the realization dawns on her. 

“Is this about what Jongdae said last night? Is that it?”

The ensuing silence is all the answer she needs.

“I told you not to let it get to you.” Baekhyun sighs, “It’s not common for friends to fuck, Chanyeol. They just don’t get it. After all these years.”

“Maybe I don’t get it, either.” He says quietly, almost too quietly for Baekhyun to hear.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” She says, and the accusation comes out sharper than she intended.

“I love you, Baekhyun.”

Her shoulder tenses.

“I love you, you’re my friend. And I don’t want this friendship—”

She relaxes.

 “ –to complicate our lives.”

She should’ve known. This conversation has been a foregone conclusion, a ticking time bomb waiting to blow up in her face. “What are you talking about? I don’t see how any of this is complicated .The sex is great. I like you, you like me – ”

“But not in _that_ way.”

“Yes, you’ve made that perfectly clear.” She grits out. “So, what’s your point?”

“I think they’re right. We can’t keep doing this to each other.”

“What – fulfill each other’s sexual needs without the emotional baggage? Sounds like the dream.”

“Well, not for me. Not anymore.”

The dormant ache in Baekhyun’s gut takes hold. “That’s kinda hypocritical of you, don’t you think? After all this time, you’re just telling me now that you’re a fucking Romeo? Do you want a medal for the world’s most romantic guy?”

“You know that’s not what this is about.”

And then, it clicks. “Ah right, this is about Kyungsoo. Of course it is.”

All the blood is drained from his face, like Baekhyun just threw his deepest, dirtiest secret into wind.

“You’re jealous. You want what Kyungsoo and Jongin have. Well, I’m _sorry_ that you don’t have what they have.” Baekhyun knows that he knows she is the farthest thing from apologetic. “I’m so sorry I can’t give it to you, that _this_ is not enough.

“That’s not what this is! I just need some closure.”

“Closure? Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“Keep your voice down.”

“Don’t worry about waking her up. She’s fast asleep in the arms of the man she loves.”

“Baekhyun.”

“Accept it. It’s over. You lost. Kyungsoo and Jongin finally got their heads out of their asses and came to terms with their feelings.” She knows she’s killing him one word at a time, but she can’t seem to stop if her life depended on it. “You want closure? _There’s_ your closure.”

He takes it all in silence, liquid gathering in the corner of his eyes.

Baekhyun instantly deflates, feeling like flinging herself into the wall. “I didn’t mean –”

“No, you’re right,” he snaps, “A little insensitive, maybe, but you’re right.”

The anger comes back just as instantly. “Excuse me? I’m insensitive now?”

“It’s fine. It’s not like you understand what it’s like to be in love with someone you have no chance with. I get it.”

Baekhyun almost laughs. “Fuck you.”

She goes to leave, in dire need of a shower and a hundred miles away from Chanyeol, from all of this.

“Baekhyun.”

“Talk to me when you’ve stopped being an asshole.”

\---

Baekhyun woke up to the weight of Chanyeol’s arm on her back. The unmistakable tingle and ache between her legs served to remind her of what had happened the night before. The realization filled her with a sense of bliss and an unidentified feeling akin to crippling anxiety.

“Chanyeol-ah,” she whispered to the sleeping face next to hers. She resorted to poking him on the nose. She still wasn’t clear on the proper etiquette on a morning after having sex with your supposed best friend.

To her relief (panic), Chanyeol blinked his eyes open. She waited for a moment before they widened at the sight of her. Good, she wasn’t the only one panicking about this.

“We had sex last night.” She spoke bluntly, because it was the only she way she knew how. It was far more useful than the usual “good morning”, anyway.

“Holy shit.” He said, voice rough from sleep. “We did.”  

Baekhyun cut to the chase. “You did something, with your tongue… It was amazing. Where did you learn to do that?”

He tore his eyes away and grinned up at the ceiling, abashed.

It was cute. Baekhyun found herself falling deeper into her mess of feelings.

“Baek, did we screw up?” He suddenly looked worried.

“No!” Baekhyun propped up on one elbow, the covers sliding down to reveal her breasts. It was adorable how Chanyeol’s cheeks turned pink when they came five inches away from his face. “I think you did amazing. 15/10 would bang again.”

“No, I mean –” He chuckled uncertainly, “Did I ruin this? Obviously, you’re very beautiful and _Jesus Christ_ , your body,” He let his eyes linger at her chest, the same chest he had been worshipping the night before. Her nipples still felt tender. Then he met her eyes, “but I was drunk last night and I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

For a moment, Baekhyun couldn’t think of anything to say.

“I’m not saying it’s a mistake. Oh my god, is it?”

Right there and then, she made up her mind. “This is perfect, then. Because I don’t feel that way about you, either.”

“I don’t understand.”

 “That’s what you’re saying, right? You don’t like me that way. That’s what makes this perfect.”

“’This’?”

“Yeah, this. You and me. Screwing as friends.”

“You want to do this again? With me?”

“No, with Jongin. Of course with you, you moron.”

“Does that even work?”

“It certainly worked last night. Twice, if I remember correctly.”

“You want us to be –”

“Friends with benefits, fuck buddies, no strings attached, call it whatever you want. As long as you don’t call me your ‘romantic partner’ and I get to ride that dick.”

Chanyeol laughed, a booming sound that’s too loud for seven in the morning. “Fuck, I’m not awake enough for this.”

Baekhyun shrugged. “You in or out?”

“Just so we’re clear, I’m still pretty much in love with – ”

“Yeah I know, loverboy. Like I said, no strings attached.”

“Just sex?”

“Just sex.”

“So,” he considered the situation, “it’s a deal then?”

“Shake on it?”

“Hey, Chanyeol, have you seen my charger? I’ve been looking for it all morning and you’re the last person who used it – and whoa, what is this?”

“Good morning, oppa,” she turned to the frozen figure on the doorway and gave him the brightest, sweetest smile she could muster this early in the day.

The sight of two naked members under the sheets was bound to give their leader _some_ idea of what had gone down the night before.

 “Um,” Junmyeon looked like he was contemplating on melting through the floor, “I’ll ask when you’re ready to talk about it. Chanyeol, the charger – ”

“Oh, um. I think I saw Sehun using it to charge his iPad last night.”

With a nod, Junmyeon ran for the hallway. He couldn’t leave fast enough.

“Do you think we scarred him?” Chanyeol observed.

“Did you really see Sehun use the charger?” Baekhyun accused with a smile.

“Nah, I just wanted to get rid of him.” He replied with a smile of his own, slowly making his way on top of Baekhyun under the sheets. She got her legs wrapped around him in no time.

“I can get used to this.”

“So…”

“So,” Baekhyun ran her fingers along Chanyeol’s arms, making the tiniest pressure, “How about we put the agreement into effect now?”

Chanyeol leaned down to steal her mouth in a tentative kiss. Baekhyun responded with so much more enthusiasm, thrusting up her bare crotch into his and earning a quiet moan. Chanyeol needed to know that there was no room for uncertainties and half-assed kisses. Baekhyun was greedy. She wanted it all.  

It was just her luck that Chanyeol didn’t have enough to give.

\---

Baekhyun hears a knock on the door. She’s hoping it’s Kyungsoo with a tray of food, but the voice that breaks through the gap disappoints her, to say the least.

“Baekhyun, it’s me.”

She remains quiet. Jongdae, who’s snuggled next to her on the bed, gives her an inquisitive look.

“It’s been days. You can’t ignore me forever.”

He was right.  Baekhyun was lucky that Chanyeol had been preoccupied at the studio after the quote-unquote Morning After Incident, and had given her the breathing space she needed. But the time has come to face her fears. They were bound to have The Talk one way or another, so might as well rip off the Band-Aid now.

She sighs, “come in.”

Jongdae doesn’t need to be told and hops off the bed, passing by Chanyeol in the doorway and casting him a vaguely concerned look.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing Chanyeol tells her when he enters the room. She doesn’t acknowledge it, and he makes his way to the bed, where she has spent the morning re-watching Star Wars on Junmyeon’s laptop. “The silence is killing me, Baek.”

“Good.”

“Please, I’m just trying to make things easier.”

“Why are you here?”

“I’m here to explain – ”

“You’re obviously here to say something, so just say it.” Baekhyun knows. She knows it isn’t going to be one of those fight-and-make-up scenarios where Chanyeol does something stupid, says sorry, and climbs back into bed with her. The fact that he’s waited almost a week to make his speech tells her, clear as day, that this is different, something more permanent.

“I’ve given it some thought.”

Baekhyun feels the churning in her gut.

“I think it’s time we reconsider this arrangement.”

This is it. Baekhyun has reached the point of no return.

“I can’t get you involved in my mess while I deal with that,” He gestures outside, referring to Kyungsoo and Jongin’s newfound affair, “and when I still have yet to figure this out,” he gestures between them.

Baekhyun swallows down any protest, deep, deep down her throat until they can’t find a way out. “Is that what you want right now?” She hopes Chanyeol doesn’t hear the tiny crack in her voice.

“It’s what I _need_ right now.”

Baekhyun slides off the bed and moves to stand before him. “Well, then. I can’t exactly force you to stay, can I?” She makes a disappointed sound, like all of this is just a minor inconvenience, rather than a major life crisis.

Chanyeol immediately takes her hands in his. “I’ll still be there for you, whenever you need me. It’s just the sex. It makes things –”

“—complicated, and you can’t handle ‘complicated’, you said that already.”

“I love you.  So much.”

She presses her lips together. “You said that already, too.”

Then his arms wrap around Baekhyun’s middle, his left cheek smashed into exposed skin of her belly.

Accepting defeat, she runs her fingers through his coarse hair, “it’s fine. I’ll find a way to get Yixing-oppa on board. Maybe I’ll get him to learn that thing you do with your tongue.”

“That’s not funny.”

She snorts, “What? I can’t make a joke?”

“It’s too soon.”

“I guess I’ll have to say goodbye to your dick.”

Chanyeol gets on his feet and hugs her for real, a forceful embrace that swoops her and makes her chest feel tight.

In 23 years, Baekhyun experiences her first real heartbreak.

\---

“Just suck a dick already.”

“If there was a dick to suck, then I’d have done that already now, wouldn’t I?”

“Start acting like an adult or I’ll smack you with this power bank.”

“I hate the chorus. Why is that so fucking hard to understand?”

“And why is it so fucking hard to understand that you’re the best singer in the group. We didn’t ask for it, so get over yourself and grow the fuck up.”

Baekhyun glares at Luhan, who’s glaring twice as hard. They sent Luhan to talk to her after her dramatic storm-off from the recording booth, so it must be bad.  They don’t deserve it, but it’s just not Baekhyun’s day. She hasn’t had a good day in a long, long time.

“Eonnie…” She whines.

Luhan’s face softens in an instant, moving closer to pull Baekhyun in a hug. “What am I going to do with you?”

“I’m just so tired. We haven’t had a good night’s sleep since the comeback started, and now we’re recording a song for the next one.”

“I know it’s hard, and you’re not making it any easier.”

Baekhyun feels like crying and she hasn’t had a good cry in a while. “And I’m so fucking horny.” She nearly cries then.

Luhan laughs and pulls her closer. “Do you want me to get you a vibrator for your birthday?”

“No, I need a real dick.”

“You mean, you need Chanyeol’s dick.”

Baekhyun rolls her eyes. “Please, not now.”

“How are you, really?”

“Horny and heartbroken, what do you think?”

“Let’s go back inside.”

When they get back to the studio, people are surprised to see her come in looking much less agitated. She can see the worried lines between Kyungsoo’s eyebrows, and Jongin’s tense posture. Tao hugs her without saying a word, while Sehun squeezes her hand.

Junmyeon walks over, “I’ve talked to the producers.  They say they can tweak the chorus to your liking, but that’s all they can – ”

Baekhyun wraps her arms around him. “I’m sorry for being a pain in the ass. I’ll do better, oppa.”

“You better, Byun Baekhyun. We got a lot riding on our biggest star.”

Baekhyun forces out a smile as Junmyeon pats her head.

“You all right?” Chanyeol asks later during lunch when they’re queuing for the dessert line. They’re supposed to avoid sweets like the plague with the comeback just a few weeks away, but she could really use a slice of vanilla cake right now, maybe four.

“Geez, wonder who told you? Sehun?”

“He was worried, Baek. We all are.”

“I’m not going to have a breakdown. I won’t pull a Kris on your asses, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

“That’s not what I meant. I worry about you. Just you.”

“I’m fine, Chanyeol. It’s just one of those days, okay?” _It’s just one of those days where I miss you_ _so bad I want to vomit for three hours straight._

At their table, Jongin is half-asleep on Kyungsoo’s shoulder while she tries to feed him bits of food.

“No more. Want sleep.”

“You barely had anything for breakfast. You have no say in this, Kim Jongin.”

Jongin whines and makes a half-attempt at dodging the piece of meat being fed to him.

Baekhyun puts her tray down the table and smacks him awake. “Have some respect, will you? People are starving in Africa. Hell, I’m starving. Give it to me, Kyungsoo.”

“Baekhyun-noona?” Jongin smiles himself into full consciousness, as if he’s happy she’s insulting him again. Jongin looks so warm and dreamy Baekhyun can’t help the swell of affection from pulling her cheeks up into a smile.

Tao drags her down next to her and starts clinging like a koala. Baekhyun pretends to be annoyed. “Can I eat first?”

“No.” Tao mumbles into her shoulder.

A large chunk of chicken breast is suddenly inches from her face. “Here, have this. The curry is really good.” Kyungsoo smiles.

Baekhyun really must have been in a funk to get this kind of reaction.

“I should throw tantrums more often.” She quips, and it gets an amused reaction from everyone except Chanyeol, who watches Baekhyun with careful eyes.

\---

They think Baekhyun can’t hear what people say, but she can.

_They should just get married already._

_Friends with benefits? What a dumb idea._

_Poor girl’s going to get her heart broken._

_They’re in love – they just don’t know it yet._

Not a lot of people know the nature of her relationship with Chanyeol, but those who do seem to always have an opinion about it. Baekhyun stopped caring a long time ago and has settled for impolite apathy. Whatever they thought she and Chanyeol shared between them was their problem, not hers.

But it’s hard not to care when it’s one of your closest friends. Luhan, being the older-sister figure Baekhyun never asked for, had dragged her into a nondescript bar in Apgujeong one September evening. It was just a few weeks after her “arrangement” with Chanyeol had become public knowledge in the dorms. Luhan got Baekhyun just drunk and loose enough to talk about her ~feelings~.

“So, it’s purely sex?” Luhan was never one to beat around the bush.

“Yep.” Baekhyun licked around the chicken grease staining the corner of her mouth. “Just amazing, animalistic sex.”

“I don’t know how that’s even possible.” Luhan said, fingers playing aimlessly with her shot glass. 

“It’s simple,” Baekhyun demonstrated, “his penis –” she raised the pointer finger on her left hand, “ –my vagina –”, made a ring with her right hand, and fused them together, “magic”.

One corner of Luhan’s mouth twitches. “You make it sound so simple.”

“We’re both young, healthy and horny people who can fulfill each other’s needs. What’s so hard to grasp?”

“The part where you’re in danger of catching feelings?”

“Pfft!” Baekhyun hiccupped.

“I’m just worried that you didn’t think about the possible repercussions before agreeing to this.”

Baekhyun was quiet.

“Just,” Luhan gave her a careful, appraising look. It kinda freak Baekhyun out. “Be careful. Keep yourself guarded. I know Chanyeol’s your friend in a way that we can never be, but he can be dumb as fuck.”

“Hear, hear!” Baekhyun raised her glass of soju before downing it in record time.

“Baekhyunnie, listen carefully because I won’t repeat myself.” Luhan reached across the table to grasp her hand, “The others think this is a bad idea. Junmyeon thinks it’s self-sabotage. Yifan says it’s a disaster waiting to happen –”

“Wow, that’s a lot of opinion.” Baekhyun interrupts dryly.

“—I disagree. I think you can fuck as you please, as long as you believe yourself when you say this is all just for sex and nothing more. Do you?”

 Baekhyun squeezed Luhan’s hand, “Yeah, Eonnie, I believe it.” It was hard to lie to Luhan, who could read people like an open book. But if she knew Baekhyun was lying, she didn’t show it. Because true to her word, Luhan would never have broached the subject again.

And Baekhyun was left to wonder if maybe she should have just told the truth.

\---

There was no grand revelation or a specific moment in time that Baekhyun could go back to.

She had always been kinda in love with Chanyeol from the get-go. Tall and lanky 19-year-old Chanyeol with a smile so wide Baekhyun could almost fit her head in it. Physically, he was the epitome of Baekhyun’s type. It didn’t help that he had the same love for practical jokes and making the lives of their trainers a living hell.

It has never been hard for Baekhyun to make friends. She was one of the popular kids in high school surrounded by a throng of girls and boys and getting lifted up on shoulders. With Chanyeol, however, she barely cracked a knuckle before digging herself a hole in his life.

It might have been the day they got pissed-drunk at some other trainee’s party, and Chanyeol didn’t think twice about holding her hair back while she emptied her stomach on the sidewalk. Or when he took his guitar to practice and composed an entire song about Baekhyun’s habit of sniffing things.  

Poor, unsuspecting 19-year-old Baekhyun was constantly at the precipice of making the first move, in hopes that they could finally put an end to this odd courtship and get to the good part.

Life, she found out, wasn’t as kind.

Do Kyungsoo was the epitome of Chanyeol’s type. Soft around the edges, wide-eyed, prim, with a melodic voice that could make anyone weak in the knees. It turned out Chanyeol had been working up the courage to confess.

Now, Baekhyun admits to being a bit shortsighted. If she’d been more cautious, she would’ve run away far, far away until her feelings couldn’t catch her. The ironic thing was, she ended up chasing after her own feelings.

\---

“Stop sulki’g, Sehud, it’s not cute.”

“But why do you have to get sick now?”

“Blame the government.” Baekhyun coughed, grabbing a handful of tissues from the nightstand before blowing on them. It sounded more like, “bleyb duh goverbbed”.

“You look like shit,” said Luhan after taking long, hard look at the Baekhyun’s state. “You sure you don’t need a doctor?”

“ _I deed Kyu’gsoo_.” Baekhyun muttered, “where’s Kyu’gsoo?”

Luhan sighed, “For the hundredth time, she’s filming today.”

“ _But whyyyyyyy_?”

“I’m gonna call a doctor.”

“ _Ddo! Ddo, eoddie, please_!”

“Well, we can’t leave you here on your own. And we can’t cancel on this trip or Sehun will be bitching about it for days.”

Junmyeon came in with a glass of water and some tablets. “Take this for now. This ought to break the fever.”

“I’m here! I’m here! Where’s Baekhyun!”

They heard loud footsteps coming from outside before a panting Chanyeol had come barging through the door.

“What are you doing here? I thought your flight isn’t ‘til tomorrow?” Junmyeon asked, expression mirroring everyone’s surprise.  

“I’m here for Baekhyun, of course. Sehun told me about the fever.”

Sehun raised his hand, looking at Baekhyun with a sheepish smile.

“How’d you pull that off?”

“Not important. Are you okay?” Chanyeol approached the bed and began fussing over Baekhyun’s motionless state.

“I’m dying, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun groaned theatrically.

Luhan rolled her eyes. “Okay, you kids stay here while we shoot lasers at each other. Sehun, let’s go.”

Sehun took Luhan’s outreached hand and let himself be dragged out of the room.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Junmyeon asked Chanyeol, although he looked two seconds away from running out of there.

“Yeah, you guys have fun.”

Later, with Baekhyun feeling so much better, thanks to the hot compress Chanyeol placed carefully on her, they decided to marathon all of Baekhyun’s favorite click flicks.

“How was Tokyo?” She asked just as the opening theme for My Sassy Lady started rolling.

“Cold. Hey, I got you something.” He took out a little keychain from his travel backpack. “We passed by this souvenir shop and it reminded me of you.”

Baekhyun, despite her drowsiness, studied the object Chanyeol handed to her. “The Eiffel Tower.”

“Yep. I remember you telling me that weird dream you had that one time, where you saw the Eiffel Tower in Japan. And the weirder thing was that you thought it was completely normal, you even took your friends to see it, including the narcoleptic ahjumma next door.” He had the biggest smile on, the artificial glow of the room hitting the angles of his face just right, and Baekhyun thought she might have fallen for the fifteenth time. Or maybe it was just the cough syrup getting to her head. “And that’s a tiny replica of the Eiffel Tower sold in Tokyo. Fitting, isn’t it?”

“That dream was, like, three years ago.” Baekhyun mumbled. 

Chanyeol’s gaze unfocused, as if he was going through the details in his mind, “Ah, you’re right.”

“I can’t believe you remembered.” Baekhyun said quietly, more to herself than him.

“Of course, everything you say is memorable to me.”

He said, just as quietly.

She marveled at the intricate piece of art in her hand, then squeezed her fingers around it. “Thanks, Chan-nie.”   

The wide, ear-splitting smile was back, shy eyes turning back to the TV, “It’s nothing.”

She fixed her eyes on him for a full minute, felt the way his arm around her tightened. Moments like this gave her hope. They fed her delusion and let her pretend that, maybe, he could love her, too. In that moment, she let herself be fooled.

With a weightless feeling in her chest, she wiggled closer to him on their makeshift bed. “Now, nurse me back to health so we can have some steamy reunion sex.”

Chanyeol barked out a laugh, “I was only gone for two days!”

“That’s two months in Vagina-years.”

He conceded, “I better make you some stew, then.”

What a fool Baekhyun was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun looks for peace in the form of hangover food and tall, attractive men.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another overdue update. Appreciation and credit go to anyone who's ever bookmarked, commented, left kudos and sent their love. You're the heartbeat that keeps this fic alive. 
> 
> Just a little warning on the semi-confusing timeline and additional characters - I'm shaking in my boots. 
> 
> Also, are you guys excited for the comeback? I've seen the teasers and everything looks great so far. Kings are definitely back. 
> 
> And finally, this chapter is especially dedicated to Lia. Hai, gurl.

_“Chanyeol-ssi, it says here your ideal type is Baekhyun. Is this based on visuals or personality?”_

Chanyeol’s awkward laugh reverberates through the car speakers. _“Both her looks and personality are ideal to me.”_

_“That’s nice. While Suho-ssi’s ideal type is Megan Foxx.”_

Another laugh. _“Yeah, since Baekhyun and I became friends, I have witnessed all her admirable traits.”_

“ _Do you think you’re also her ideal type?”_

_“No. Her ideal type is Yoo Ah-in but that didn’t come from me.”_

The radio DJ’s laugh isn’t loud enough to drown out the rising grumble in Baekhyun’s stomach. It’s almost time for dinner and Baekhyun can’t believe she’s listening to Chanyeol’s stupid interview for his stupid Chinese movie.

“ _She likes older men, then.”_

 _“No, no! Just Yoo Ah-in.”_ Baekhyun can picture Chanyeol covering half his face. _“Ah, she’ll kill me when I get home.”_

_“Byun Baekhyun-ssi, if you’re listening, please don’t kill Chanyeol.”_

A scene flashes in her mind. Chanyeol returning to the dorms from his radio interview, Baekhyun rushing to the door to smack him with a duffel bag or elbowing him so hard on the ribs he’d be crawling to the boys’ quarters. And later that night, when his face is buried between her breasts, she would whisper that he’s her ideal type, too.

Although they’ve kept up the act, reality is, by far, more cruel.

In reality, Chanyeol returns home, greets everyone within earshot, and tinkers endlessly with his phone.

In reality, Baekhyun barely gets a glance. As if he didn’t just spend an entire minute praising her and her ‘admirable traits’.

Chanyeol gets dragged by Junmyeon and Jongin to the gym and she’s left with an urge to rip all her hair out.

She guesses this is how things would – _should –_ naturally progress after a breakup. She can’t help but think of it as life’s cruel joke.

If something that wasn’t even a proper relationship ended, can you technically call it a breakup? Is she even allowed to grieve? Does she have the right to ask Sehun if the rumor about Chanyeol and the new trainee was true? Is that really why he’s been in and out of the dorms a lot recently? When did life become so frustrating and complicated?

Baekhyun doesn’t want to risk looking like a fool – she owes herself at least that – she keeps her teeth gritted firmly in place.

Instead, she settles on ogling Chanyeol’s ongoing body transformation. As if he hasn’t made life difficult enough for her, he goes and spends hours upon hours at the gym. Baekhyun tries not give it away too much, that she’s noticed how his arms have gotten bigger, his chest a little broader, his thighs thicker and his abs tighter.

It’s cruel and Baekhyun wants to scream.

“Noona, wipe it down, will you?” Sehun sidles up next to her one day. They’re cooped up at a VIP lounge at some airport in Hong Kong, waiting for their delayed flight back to Incheon. Baekhyun stayed close to the air vents when Chanyeol dropped and started doing push-ups. Who does that? Who does push-ups at some filthy airport floor?

“Huh?”

“You’re drooling.” Sehun’s grin is too evil for his own good. He tilts his chin in Chanyeol’s direction.

“Fuck you.” Baekhyun seethes under her breath. “Didn’t you get the memo? I have since raised my standards.”

Sehun raises one of his perfectly waxed eyebrows, as if to say, _Bitch, please._

“It’s all your fault.” Baekhyun pokes him in the thigh, not so lightly. “You keep dragging him to your gym sessions.”

He shrugs. “You can’t fault a man for wanting to help a bro out.”

“Help him with what?”

 Sehun sighs. “To be honest? Sexual frustration.”

“Is that what he said it was?”

“He didn’t have to say it. It’s written all over him. He needed an outlet for all that pent-up energy. You could use one, too.”

Baekhyun gives him a long, squinted look. “I never gave you the right to judge me like this.”

“I’m trying to help, noona.”

Something dawns on Baekhyun. “So, he’s not sleeping with that trainee Minyoung or Minkyung or whats-her-face?”

Sehun looks at her seriously. “I can’t believe you think he would.”

“Well, _I_ would. Is she hot?”

The boy shakes his head. “Not your type. She’s too much like you. Small frame, loud mouth.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Anyway, Chanyeol hyung was never into her. That’s what you wanted to hear, right?”

He knows her too well to believe any other response, so Baekhyun doesn’t give him any.

“Actually, she was never into him, either.” Sehun’s eyes turn a meaningful shade.

“Oh my god Oh Sehun, are you fucking this girl?”

“No, no.” He smiles a little. “We texted for a bit, but I kinda got the vibe she was using me to get close to Jongin.”

“Well, you can go tell her that ship has very much sailed.”

“Nah, I heard she’s moved on to Lee Taeyong now.”

“Aish, kids these days. Can’t stick to one person.”

“Like you and Chanyeol hyung stuck with each other?”

Baekhyun chews the inside of her cheek. “We stuck with each other for different reasons.”

“I just don’t know how it _can’t_ work out.”

“Why don’t you ask him? He’s the one that ended it.” Baekhyun doesn’t even sound bitter to her ears, anymore. Just resigned and tired.  “Anyway, this is too deep for airport talk. I need to be at least drunk for this.”

“Taemin hyung is throwing this party tomorrow. You don’t have a schedule. You should totally come with us.”

“You know I don’t like going to those parties.”

“Who cares? You could use the booze and I don’t know – the company?”

Baekhyun hesitates.

“I know what you’re thinking. Chanyeol hyung won’t be there.”

“Since when did our beloved Sehunnie become so caring for his noona?” She starts running her fingers through his hair.

“Aish. Come on, say yes.”

She rests her head on his shoulder, sighing at Chanyeol from across the room. “On one condition, you let me wear a two-piece.”

“Please don’t wear a two-piece.”

“Fine, _dad._ ” The air goes quiet for a while. She notices the slight twitch in Sehun’s hand. The last time someone called Sehun that, Tao was still here. “I’m sure she misses this – she misses you.”

“I miss her, too.”

“How was she? I’m sorry I didn’t ask.”

“Busy. We talked for, like, 30 minutes before her van drove her off.”

“You’ll keep in touch, right?”

“I don’t know, noona. We’ll see.”

Baekhyun has been far too busy healing from Chanyeol that she sometimes forgets about other people’s wounds. It’s been months since Luhan and Tao left and things have gone back to normal, more or less.

Luhan sometimes Skypes Minseok in the middle of the night to see how things are, but it always ends in an argument that they think others can’t hear. It keeps Baekhyun up sometimes. 

Sehun, on the other hand, feels more betrayed than anything else. He was the last in the group to find out about Tao’s fateful flight to Beijing, and it hit him harder than any of them expected.

“She seems happy, though. Healthier than I’ve ever seen her.”

“That’s good.”

“I guess.”

“We’ll have fun in that party, okay?” She squeezes Sehun’s hand. “We’ll get drunk and happy, you and me.”

She smiles when she feels him squeeze back.

 

\---

 

 

Baekhyun didn’t end up wearing a two-piece. Instead, Kyungsoo called to give her total autonomy of her wardrobe. Trust Kyungsoo to help when she’s all the way in Busan shooting her new drama and making a name for herself, while Baekhyun is dealing with stupid, meaningless woes.

She chose a simple gray, tube dress that cuts nicely around the thighs. It’s nice enough not to provoke a reaction from Sehun and Jongin.

Some Jason Derulo song is playing when they get to the venue. Baekhyun recognizes almost everyone in sight. It’s mostly people from the company and Taemin and Jongin’s friends from school. She smiles at anyone that catches her eye, never letting go of Sehun’s hand as he leads them further into the room.

“My favorite people are here! Baekhyun noona, I didn’t expect to be graced by your beauty.” Taemin ambles his way to them, a weird bounce in his step.

“Watching drunk people make fools of themselves? You know I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“A woman after my heart.” Taemin fake-sighs and then proceeds to kiss Jongin wetly on the cheek.

Jongin grimaces but doesn’t pull away. “Are you drunk?”

“He’s high.” Someone from the back comments, and the person makes a tiny nod of acknowledgment when Baekhyun’s eyes shift to him.

“Hey, Johnny.” She greets with a smile, glad to see a familiar sober face.

“Hi, Baekhyun noona.” He smiles back. It’s an unsure tug of lips, polite with something underneath it.

“Can someone explain why he’s high already?” Jongin addresses the small huddle around them, who as far as Baekhyun can tell, can’t care less if Taemin climbs on one of the tables and starts stripping. The Jaehyun kid grins brightly at them, mirroring Taemin’s dazed, dumb-happy expression. Baekhyun idly notes that Johnny is keeping a steady hand on him.

Taemin drapes himself around Jongin, face too close for comfort. “You seem tense. Why is my baby tense?”

“He just needs to get hammered.” Sehun says. “Speaking of, I’ll go get some drinks. You want anything?” He asks Baekhyun.

“Gin and tonic, please.”

“You want mine?”

Baekhyun follows the voice and finds Johnny looming over her with a drink in hand.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. It’s just the bartender got our drinks mixed up.” He motions to Jaehyun. “I wanted vodka tonic. Don’t worry. It’s completely untouched.”

“Go get him vodka tonic, Sehun. This is mine now.” She extracts the glass smoothly from Johnny’s fingers and takes her first sip of the night.

“Thanks, bro.” Johnny calls out to Sehun, who simply nods.

Jongin gets dragged by Taemin with Sehun to the bar, leaving Baekhyun alone with a tall young man next to her. This party may not be so bad.

“Is Jaehyun even old enough to drink?” Johnny’s face is so high up Baekhyun has to crane her neck to meet his eyes.

Johnny chuckles. “I hope so.”

“Hey, I’m 21. I have a driver’s license, and you know that. We’re roommates.” Jaehyun offers, the dazed, dumb smile never leaving his face. “By the way, you look very pretty tonight, Byun Baekhyun-ssi.”

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow, amused. “So, you _are_ drunk.”

“And high.” Johnny adds sadly.

“Taemin is recruiting children in his stoner club now?”

Johnny appears to be suppressing a laugh.

“Why are you babysitting? Where’s Taeyong?”

He sighs, gesturing vaguely behind him. “Somewhere.”

“ _Somewhere_.” She repeats, giving him a meaningful look. 

“Speaking of Taeyong hyung, I’mma go find him.” Jaehyun says, cheeks glistening against the light. “I miss him.”

“Please don’t get killed.” Johnny warns solemnly.

“Can’t promise anything.” He’s still grinning.

When Baekhyun motions to sit down on one of the vacant couches, she’s expecting Johnny to get the message and follow her. Instead, he stays rooted to the spot, hesitating.

“I don’t bite, Johnny.” She pats the space next to her.

He has to smile at that, cheeks pulling up slightly. Carefully, he makes his way down and plops beside her on the couch.

From this angle, Baekhyun can scrutinize him better: high cheekbones under the dim glow of the club and long, thick legs hidden in ripped jeans. He smells like expensive cologne and fear. She thinks it’s cute.

Baekhyun crosses one leg over the other, obviously making a show of it, and takes another sip of her drink. 

 “I don’t see you around enough. How’s life been?” She starts.

“Hectic.” He mumbles, eyes fixed on a Medusa sculpture a few feet away.

“I heard you guys are back at the studio. Are you excited?”

“Mostly nervous.”

If Sehun didn’t tattle about Johnny’s big, fat crush on her a year ago over a silly game of Truth or Dare, Baekhyun would think he was uninterested in this conversation.  She spurs on.

“I get sad every time, you know, thinking about how you could’ve been our baby, instead we got a whiny, spoiled brat.”

Johnny lets out a quiet laugh – controlled, careful, nothing like the guffaw she often catches him share with his co-trainees.

Baekhyun has known Johnny for a while, mostly from rushed polite greetings in company events and stolen gazes at dark hallways. There’s something about him. Maybe it’s the overwhelming height. Maybe not.  

Baekhyun didn’t let herself think about it too much, but every time she finds herself in the same room with him, she’s reminded of what they used to tell her, that Johnny – tall, handsome, kind-hearted Johnny – was supposed to be their thirteenth member. But management decided to be an asshole and let them debut as a 12-member group.

Now she’s drifting into that same hopeful thought, _what if?_

What if their lives interwove? Would things be different? Would she be with Chanyeol?

_Chanyeol. That fucking asshole._

“How do you know I won’t be a whiny, spoiled brat myself? It’s called maknae-syndrome or something.”

“No, I think you’re just naturally well-adjusted.”

“You’re being too kind, noona.”

“I think at this point, we know each other well enough to drop the honorifics.”

Baekhyun half-expects him to force out another polite remark or duck down in light embarrassment. What she doesn’t expect is the long, serious gaze he fixes on her.

“Here’s your drink.”

Baekhyun feels whiplashed when Sehun’s voice cuts through the haze. She watches the light in Johnny’s face shift, going back to its usual, childlike glow.

“Vodka tonic. Just like Baekhyun noona asked.”

“Thanks, hyung.” He takes the glass from Sehun’s hand and offers him a polite nod.

“I’ll leave you guys here. Taemin is supposed to show us something.”

Baekhyun grabs his forearm. “What?”

Sehun shrugs.

“I swear to God, Oh Sehun, if it’s meth---”

Sehun rolls his eyes and Johnny chuckles. “It’s not.”

He leaves without another word and Baehkyun lets her eyes trail after him as far as they can go.  

“You really care about them, don’t you?” Johnny observes, placing his glass carefully on the table.

“Unwillingly. You think I’d be used to living with a bunch of whiny boys by now.”

He lets down his guard for a moment and lets his eyes linger a second too long.

For the first time that night, Baekhyun feels her cheeks heat up. “What?”

“I’m sorry. I’m just not used to you seeing you like this.”

“Like what?”

“You’re always with Chanyeol hyung. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without him.”

Baekhyun’s reflexes are quick enough to stop her body from reacting. “Well, I’m not with him right now. What are you going to do about it?”

A smirk forms on his lips. Finally – _finally –_ he catches on.  “Whatever you’ll let me do.”

She grins lazily, the alcohol taking effect, and rubs her foot lightly against his leg. “My, my. Did Johnny Seo just flirt with me?”

His gaze falls on her mouth, then shifts back to her eyes. “Maybe.”

 

\---

 

 

The irony of making out with Johnny Seo at the back of the van where she and Chanyeol used to make out doesn’t escape Baekhyun.    

But after two glasses of gin and tonic, four shots of tequila, and a full chug of whiskey, a girl just stops caring.

She climbs on his lap and sighs when she feels his hard-on against her, a demanding press that she hasn’t felt in a long time.

“ _I can’t believe this is happening_.” He says in slurred English, mouthing along her neck and leaving trails of wet kisses that feel a little too intimate to be real.

Johnny holds her against him like he’s waited for this day his whole life.

“Am I heavy?” Baekhyun suddenly is very aware of her boobs pushing into his face and possibly suffocating him.

“You weigh like a child.”

“Eww…?”

“I mean,” he chuckles lowly into her neck, “you’re very light, noona.”

“If I sat on your face, would it kill you?”

She can see his eyes glaze over, the air seemingly siphoned out of him. “If it would, then please kill me.”

Baekhyun would like that, to sit on Johnny’s face while his pretty mouth ate her from under, just like Chany—

_No!_

Baekhyun shakes off thoughts of him and focuses on Johnny’s beautifully parted lips. They’re soft and confident, an amazing contrast to the unsure little bites he leaves on her skin. She pulls him into a proper kiss, catching the bitter aftertaste of vodka on his tongue. “Do we have any room in here?” She asks between kisses.

“I doubt it.”

“God damn it, Johnny, why do have to be so fucking tall?”

He chuckles into her neck a second time. She figures he’s a giggly drunk. “Do you wanna go somewhere?”

“No, I’m too drunk for that.”

One of his hands finds its way to her ass and squeezes.

“ _Fuck.”_ She arches against him.

The hand sneaks underneath her dress, exploring, kneading, until it slips into her underwear and palms her bare ass. Baekhyun can feel herself throb at the touch.

“You have the most wonderful ass, noona. You know that?” Johnny breathes, “Every time I see you in one of those stage outfits, I just –”

“What?”

“I wanted to bury my face in it.”

It’s Baekhyun’s turn to laugh. How fucking fitting. Jonny is an ass guy. _Chanyeol_ was also an ass guy. He practically worshipped her ass. He often joked about building a shrine for it.

Suddenly, Baekhyun is screaming. _“No, no, no, no, no!”_

Johnny looks like he just had cold water thrown in his face. It wipes out his drunken, aroused expression and replaces it with a mix of shock and concern. 

“ _NO!”_ Baekhyun covers her face in shame, feeling herself sink lower and lower into insanity.

Before she knows it, she’s crying into her hands, fat tears streaming out like an angry outpour. They mix with her makeup and sting her eyes.

“Was it something I said? Noona, I’m sorry.” Johnny’s hands are gentle on her shoulders, calming her down. “Hey, it’s okay.”

“ _I fucking hate him. Why’s he doing this to me?_ ”

“Who’s he?”

“ _I don’t deserve this.”_

“Noona---“

“ _I should be having sex right now!”_

“Do you want me to take you home?”

Baekhyun sniffs, finally looking him in the eyes, which are squinted in worry. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it. Are you okay? Do you want to go home?”

She nods. “But before that, can you just like, hold me for a second?”

After a fleeting moment of trepidation, Johnny wraps his arms around her and Baekhyun rests her head against his chest, hiccupping and catching her breath.

“Please don’t tell Sehun about this.” She whispers.

“I won’t.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you leaving with them?”

“No. I don’t want them to see me like this. Can you take me home?”

“If I was drunk before, I’ve definitely sobered up now.”

“Yeah, blue balls and a crying lady will do that to you.”

She can feel the soft vibration in his chest when he laughs. “This is a weird night.”

“Yeah, let’s end it now.”

\---

Johnny is a decent driver. Baekhyun naps the entire ride home and wakes up to a quiet, lifeless May night.

Johnny has both hands on the steering wheel, looking at the building’s entrance like it has all the answers.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“It’s Chanyeol, isn’t it?”

“Hmm?”

Johnny turns to her looking like he just solved life’s biggest mystery. The usual mirth is gone, replaced only by thoughtful somberness.

Baekhyun, for the life of her, can’t bring herself to lie. “Yes.”

“I’m sorry.” He shakes his head, “I know it’s not my place –”

“Chanyeol and I were never together.” She says, letting the heaviness of truth drag on every word. “I know a lot of people think we dated and stuff. But we didn’t.”

“But you---”

“We fucked – yes – but we didn’t put a label on it.”

Johnny frowns. “That _almost_ never works.”

“You see, you’d think someone as smart as me would know that, but nope.”

“Sex between friends – people actually do that?”

Baekhyun raises her hand. “Here! I’m people!”

“How do you not have feelings – ”

They look at each other in silence for a long time.

“Oh.”

“Look, Johnny, while this has been quite an interesting evening, I’d like to conserve what’s left of my dignity and call it a night.”

“Do you need help getting inside?”

“I think I can manage.”

“Are you sure?”

Johnny ends up carrying her bridal style all the way to the girls’ quarters. She’s lulled by his careful movements as he maneuvers his way around the maze of shoes on the floor.

“No other guy has ever been here before, you know.” She murmurs.

 _“Oh, really?”_ He says in English.

“Johnny Seo, I want sushi and ice cream.”

“Tomorrow, get sushi and ice cream.”

Baekhyun is overcome by a sense of peace when her back lands on familiar soft sheets.

“You are relieved of your services.” She feels her eyes droop, body melting into the mattress and giving out from leftover inebriation.

She can hear his footsteps at the door. “Goodbye, noona. Rest well, alright?”

“Good night, Johnny Seo.”

 

\----

 

 

Baekhyun wakes up to a series of text messages from an unregistered number.

_Baekhyun noona~ Last night was a weird way to meet each other. I hope you’re feeling better._

_Got your number from Sehun hyung._

_It’s Johnny, by the way._

_Johnny Seo_

_I’m guessing you figured that._

_I’m here if you need me._

Baekhyun’s mind sifts through the memories from the night before. Surprisingly, she doesn’t feel half as appalled by them as she probably should. Hangover, however, rears its ugly head.

It’s already past noon when she gets out of bed, around the time she’s regained the will to live. She doesn’t spend 30 minutes in the shower masturbating to Chanyeol for a change. Instead, she goes straight to the common room to find Sehun and Jongdae helping themselves with a stack of Chinese takeout boxes.

“There’s ice cream and sushi in the fridge for you,” says Sehun.

Baekhyun’s eyebrows meet. “Huh?”

“Delivery.”

“Who from–? Oh.”

Sehun offers her a knowing smirk, biting smugly into a fried dumpling.  

“Sushi and ice cream sound like the perfect cure to a hangover. By the way, you look like someone stepped on you.” Jongdae comments.

“Gee, thanks.”

“Advil?”

“No, I think it’s best if I don’t put anything inside my body right now.”

“You need to eat.”

Baekhyun sobers up at the familiar voice.

Chanyeol is looking sternly at her from the far end of the table, playing aimlessly with his chopsticks.

“You’re not my dad.”

“And you’re not gonna starve yourself just because you can’t control your alcohol.”

“Oh, so now you care about my well-being?”

Chanyeol looks like he’s about to retort but remembers the two other people in the room. He gets up his seat and Baekhyun can’t properly react when she’s yanked in the arm and dragged into the hallway.

“Chanyeol, what the fuck?”

He moves in on her, shoulders tense and foreboding. “Did you sleep with him?”

Part of Baekhyun wants to scream – a smaller, more sinister part of her wants to jump for joy. “Who?”

“The guy who got sushi and ice cream delivered at 9 in the fucking morning? The one who brought you home last night? You think I didn’t see?”

Baekhyun takes a deep breath, smirking and huffing in incredulity. “Yah… So now I suddenly exist because you think I’m having sex with other people?”

“Is this what this is about? You getting a rise out of me?”

In a flash, the smirk is gone and fury overtakes her. “No! This is me trying to survive!”

Chanyeol steps back, eyes meeting the floor. “I just wish you said something, anything.”

“You ignore me, after promising me that nothing would change. You pretend I don’t exist, after telling me you love me. I don’t owe you anything.” 

“I was trying to make it easy for us!”

“No, you were trying to make it easy for _you_! Just like you always have!”

“You think this is easy for me? I’ve never stopped lov—”

Baehyun slaps him, a painful, resounding smack across the face. “Don’t you fucking dare. You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to hurt me and make it all better with your fucking lies.”

Chanyeol looks lost.

“I’m not your toy. You don’t get to kick and whine just because another kid found me on the floor.”

If he wanted to object, he’s humble enough not to. He looks remorseful, eyes softening and twisting something raw inside her.

Jealousy is funny, Baekhyun thinks. It’s funny, poisonous and can make good men do bad things.

Gently, Chanyeol gathers her in his arms and steals her mouth in a kiss. She lets him, because heaven be damned, this is all she ever wanted. This is all she wanted to replace. Nothing will ever come close.

“Chanyeol –”

“Please.”

“No.”

But sometimes, the things you want are not right for you.  

“You have to decide if this is what will make you happy, Chanyeol. Not the girl who’s in love with your best friend. Until then, you can’t have either. You can’t keep giving me half-assed confessions because you’re jealous and horny.”

The spot where her hand landed is starting to redden. But he can’t seem to care less about it at the moment, allowing the time and silence to make sense of what she just said.

Baekhyun leaves him like that, motionles and lost in thought.

\---

[Sent at 3:34 pm]

_You won’t believe the morning I just had. Do you wanna hear about it?_

[Sent at 3:37 pm]

_Here I was thinking I was dead to Byun Baekhyun. Sure, noona. Coffee after practice? We finish at 5._

[Sent at 3:38 pm]

_Tall, attractive men don’t die that easily. Pick me up at 5:30. Also, unicorn-flavored ice cream. Really?_

[Sent at 3:39 pm]

_It’s a thing! I went with my guts. Did you like it? (Wow I’m tall and attractive?)_

[Sent at 3:39 pm]

_Meh, Jongin ate most of it. (And kissable)._

[Sent at 3:39 pm]

_It’s the thought that counts :P (I’m dying over here)_

[Sent at 3:40 pm]

_It definitely is. Thank you, Johnny. (Don’t die)._

[Sent at 3:41 pm]

_No. Thank you, noona. (For you, I won’t.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, say hello to Johnny. I don't know how true it is, but I read in an article that he was supposed to debut as EXO's maknae and 13th member. HERE IS A REFERENCE/CITATION OF HIS BEAUTY. http://www.koreaboo.com/news/nct-member-supposed-part-exo/
> 
> Inspiration for this fic: 
> 
> https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CJHs8DqUEAA0Yga.jpg
> 
> https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DD3kvqJUAAAjNyw.jpg
> 
> I'm soft for big!Johnny and smol!hyungs.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, Baekhyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I don't deserve the people still leaving comments and kudos on this fic. You are always in my heart. 
> 
> Second, I meant to post this on Baekhyun's birthday on May 6, but life got in the way as usual. I made a heavy reference to Chapter 5 of High-five Your Goodbyes, so I apologize if some parts of the narrative seem incomplete or don't make sense. I didn't feel like being explicit. 
> 
> And finally, your feedback is the only thing keeping this thing alive. I love you.

Baekhyun hated parties. It was a kept secret that she guarded with her life, an unfortunate glitch in her otherwise perfect social butterfly status. She had an image to maintain and apparently, the right degree of pretense was enough to enforce it. She smiled and giggled her way through the crowd, absorbing the shouts of “happy birthday” like an overworked sponge.

Chanyeol had a firm grip around her hand as he led them into the VIP table. “Did you fucking see her? God, why is she doing this to me?”

Baekhyun fell next to him on the couch, barely sober despite the lack of alcohol in her system. Chanyeol looked delicious, forearms visible and inviting against the blue of his rolled-up sleeves. She could picture it perfectly: Baekhyun and her boss CEO Park Chanyeol grinding on top of the copier while his strong arms held her up by the thighs. Office fantasies were always her favorite.

“Baekhyunnie!”

Chanyeol gave her shoulders a little shake, then signaling someone from across the room to give them a drink.

“Help meeeeeee.” He pleaded.

“What do you need, tiger? Tell Momma Baekhyun.” She said in a weird old woman/sexy aunt accent, making Chanyeol spurt out a laugh.

“It’s Kyungsoo.”

She leaned back against the couch, turning on her side so she could face him. “What about our little Kyungsoo?”

“She… She’s trying to kill me.”

Baekhyun squinted into space, trying to make sense of it, and it dawned on her. “Oh.” Her eyes scanned the room, looking for the murderer in question, and spotted her speaking to Zitao. Zitao was talking animatedly, probably about something she and Sehun had done over the weekend, making gestures that sent her drink sloshing around. Kyungsoo laughed occasionally, her eyes cheeks pulling up and front teeth shining under the light. She looked perfect.

“Thank me.” Baekyun said to Chanyeol, who’d been glaring at the crystal table in front of him like he wanted to break it telekinetically.

“Why?”

“I got her to wear that dress. It was a favor for you.”

“So, it’s your fault? You’re the reason I’m suffering?”

“Oh please, stop acting like this isn’t the best day of your life because you get to see Kyungsoo in a tight little dress.”

Chanyeol considered her with a look of affront, before letting his face soften into an honest smile. “Thanks, Baekhyunnie.” He leaned forward to nuzzle gently into her neck. “Knew I could count on you.”

“Stop, you perv.” She protested by shrugging him off her shoulder, giggling as he took this as cue to get closer and start blowing raspberries into the sensitive part of her neck. “Chanyeol, stop or I’m kicking your balls!”

“As if you don’t know I like that.” He mumbled into her ear with a sense of innocence that would’ve made the situation downright _wrong_ if Baekhyun hadn’t known Chanyeol cried to puppy videos every night.

Baekhyun lifted a leg to dig her knee into his side, but instead of holding him off, he took this as an opportunity to grip her calf and wind her entire leg around his middle, rendering her totally helpless.

Luhan’s hiss could be heard almost immediately. “Yah! Stop embarrassing me!”

“It’s my birthday!” Baekhyun shouted in response as she tried to wriggle her off of Chanyeol’s iron grip. “I get to embarrass all of you!”

“Come on,” Luhan turned to Minseok, who seemed to be tuning everything out, “I need a drink.”

After showing no signs of defeat, Chanyeol eventually caved in when Baekhyun surged forward to bite him in the neck. That did it – the whole force of him dissolving into pained, spineless softness.

“Guys, no blood please.” Junmyeon reminded them when he was close enough to be within earshot.  The man looked on edge, eyes sharp and quick to spot if anyone was misbehaving. Baekhyun took pity.

“Poor Junmyeon hyung, he needs to get laid.” Chanyeol observed as soon as Junmyeon turned and left to check on the others.

“Speaking of getting laid, when do I get to have my birthday present, hmm?” Her voice was taunting, and her eyebrows wiggled just in time to punctuate the statement with some kind of detached playfulness. Baekhyun hated parties – but she loved the excuse it afforded her. She loved being able to have Chanyeol all to herself in a room full of people and pretending that maybe, in some dishonest, un-self-aware way, he was hers.

“Oh? Um.” He was blushing – _how cute_ – “I was thinking maybe we skip that for now?”

Baekhyun blinked. “The fuck? Are you seriously denying me sex? On my birthday?”

“Come on, Baek. Do you really want your birthday present to be some meaningless sex with your dorky best friend?”

Baekhyun wanted to scream so many things at the same time.

_No, it won’t be meaningless precisely because it’s with my dorky best friend._

_No, you’re not dorky. You’re hot and sexy and talented and amazing and you can play three instruments –_

But something hit her halfway through her worshippy inner monologue. Is that what Chanyeol thought of all of it? Of sex with Baekhyun? That it’s just _some meaningless sex with your dorky best friend?_

_At this point, why am I even surprised?_

“Your present is at home, dork.” Chanyeol’s voice cut through the haze in her brain.

“It better be a time-travelling machine that will take me back to the moment I met you.”

“Yeah? And what will you do?”

“Ignore you.” She sulked. “And not to talk to you to spare myself of sucky friends.”

Chanyeol giggled at her almost endearingly. “Well, lucky for me, it’s not a time-travelling machine.”

As soon as their drinks, Baekhyun downed two shots of something that tasted like her father’s favorite drink in one go. Chanyeol studied her with some amount of concern.

“If I’m not getting laid tonight, then I might as well get shit-faced.”

 

\---

 

Baekhyun could hate Kyungsoo. She really could. But the girl was as clueless as she was beautiful, and you can’t really hate someone that’s out of touch with reality and all the things causing you to break. It wasn’t her fault Chanyeol was as dense as a spoon or that he was hopeful and convinced that Kyungsoo was his endgame. All of that was on Baekhyun, for not losing grip when the iron was already too hot.

More than hate, Baekhyun envied Kyungsoo. And envy sometimes comes with true, earnest adoration. Tonight, after having been rejected by a man that was both her joy and misery, she wasn’t in a particularly loving mood.

“Noona, I want to go hooome.” Jongin whined next to her, legs spread out in front of him and under the table. The night was winding down and every part of him screamed exhaustion. “I’m leaving Sehun. He can stay here chasing Zitao around all he wants.”

“But Jonginnie~ it’s my birthday.”

“I _know._ ” The whine only got worse. “The fruity drink Chanyeol hyung made me drink is a liar. It tasted like strawberries but _nooooooo_ it’s an asshole and now I can’t feel my face.”

“Awww, my baby bear.” Baekhyun cuddled close to him. Drunken Jongin was always a sight to behold. “Don’t trust Chanyeol next time. He likes playing with people’s feelings.”

It was quiet before Jongin slurred, “Love sucks.”

Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he made a general observation of the universe as a result of inebriation, or referenced something closer to both of them. Jongin, a lovelorn boy pining after a girl that Chanyeol also pined for who was pining after Jongin, just made the most ironic announcement into the wind.

Baekhyun wondered where she fit into this weird pining triangle – and oh, that’s right.

Her eyes flicked automatically to Chanyeol a few feet away, who had been, interestingly enough, eyeing her first, surrounded by a group of white girls. He looked on curiously, his beer bottle suspended just a few inches below his lips. It was if he _knew_ Baekhyun was planning something.

Much, much farther was Kyungsoo, standing in front of Sehun at the tail end of a crowd.

“Jongin, let’s give them a show–” Without a full warning, Baekhyun climbed on Jongin’s lap and connected their mouths together. She felt the initial shock of his body, followed by some uncertain resistance, before she felt the first tug of his lips and they were making out for real.

Jongin kept his hands at his sides and let Baekhyun take charge. She was almost sure that he knew what she was trying to do, and he was willing to humor her. That only made her want to kiss him more. She let the whistles and subtle hollers whizz past her ears.

“Noona, noona,” Eventually, Jongin’s gentle hands reached for her shoulders. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

It was all Baekhyun needed to hop off him and settle back on the couch. “You got it bad for Kyungsoo too, huh?”

If Jongin was curious about the “too” part, he didn’t say it. Instead, he looked down at the floor, guilty.

“Jongin, just fucking go.”

He looked hurt for a second. “Huh?”

“Just—” Baekhyun exhaled, still winded from their kiss, “Stop moping around and waiting for things to happen.” When she got no response, she rolled her eyes and reached out between his legs, making him yelp. “Soft as a cotton. You know what that means? You’re fucking in love. But you already know that.”

Jongin looked like a lost, guilty, fearful puppy all at once.

“Look, this group’s got too many lonely hearts. At least one of us should be happy.”

“Don’t you want that to be you?”

“Honey, I just made the most asshole move of the century by kissing you. It _cannot_ be me.”

“It looked like it worked, though.” Jongin observed, shifting his eyes meaningfully at the spot where Chanyeol used to be. Maybe he wasn’t as drunk as he’d let on.

“Look, go home. I’ll go find him.”

“Are you sure? It’s your birthday.” Jongin said without any hint of humor.

“Fuck my birthday.”

 

\---

 

“This? This spot right here?” Johnny looks around the tiny VIP booth, a secluded, exclusive area in the bar open to VIP guests only.

“Yep, the best angry sex we’ve ever had. In public, at that. Guess I got the birthday gift that I wanted after all.” 

“And you didn’t get caught?”

“Well, if we did, we have no way of knowing because no one ever said a thing.”

“Jesus Christ.” He huffs out a breath.

“Oh my precious vanilla muffin.” Baekhyun wraps her arms around his neck to pull their bodies together, which with his height, is a feat in itself.

“Hey! I can be bad.” He pouts.

“Sure, you can.” She moves her face closer to his. Their mouths are open and teasingly close, pushing and pulling toward each other, waiting for the other to give in.

Until Johnny leans back against Baekhyun’s hold and says, “So he _was_ jealous.”

“Hmm?”

“You said angry sex. He was angry, so he was jealous of the kiss.”

Baekhyun rolls her eyes to the ceiling, “It was more of a ‘no one gets to have you but me’ kind of jealousy more than anything. Men can be territorial like that.”

“Yeah,” Johnny acquiesces, “but men can also be confused about their own feelings and channel it in some weird, fucked up way.”

Baekhyun loosens her arms from around his neck and considers him with humor. “Are you suggesting his jealousy was out of love?”

Johnny shrugs.

“God, you’re like one of those Baekhyun/Chanyeol fan shippers.” She pretends to walk away and Johnny laughs, chasing after her in one quick stride and catching her by the hand.

“I’m a Baekhyun/Johnny shipper, you know that.”

“So, will you go to the SM Halloween party with me dressed as D.Va and Soldier 76?”

“I’m not into anime and I already agreed to go as Doctor Strange with Ten this year.”

“D.Va and Soldier 76 are from Overwatch, you uncultured swine!”

“I knew that.” Johnny smiles, warm and gooey like melted chocolate, “Also, I don’t think us going as a married video game couple is being very subtle.”

“I was just being funny! I don’t want any of our fans coming after me with their torches.”

His chuckle is soft and fond, “I knew that, too. I just really like you when you’re being ~this”, he gestures in her direction. “You’re always so control all the time.”

“Not when you’re pounding me from behind, I’m not.” The change in atmosphere is so sudden, so immediate, that Baekhyun sees the air get siphoned out of his lungs. And then almost instantly, she schools her face into a sickly sugary smile, the one that people pay money to see on their smartphones.

“Jerk.” Johnny breathes out.

Their relationship has grown close enough for him to address his _noona_ in such an informal way and not get punished. But Baekhyun won’t settle for that.

She goes around him to hop on his back. “That’s not how to talk to the birthday girl.”

“ _Unf._ Sorry. Happy birthday, noona.” His hands automatically slide under her thighs currently wrapped around him.

Baekhyun plants a soft kiss on the back of his neck, “Happy birthday to me, indeed.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
